My Best Friend

"A son is a son until he gets a wife,

but a daughter is a daughter all her life."

I was 18 weeks pregnant and was eating gelato with my Kaelana when her daddy snapped this photo.

Phenomenal

I believe that I am at a point in my life where I just want to really slow down, keep a low profile and live peacefully. I don't think I just woke up one day with this realization. Instead, I know that I took purposeful and deliberate steps to get to where I am now. Getting our own little home, tightening my circle of friends, being more introspective, letting go of the negative... I made sure I was creating a life away from toxic competition, away from things that waste precious time, away from circumstances and situations that did not make me grow and most importantly, away from things I know, if I'm lying on my death bed, aren't really important.

Sure, a fancier job title, a larger paycheck, a place in the spotlight, a better figure, a nicer pair of shoes, are awesome, but at what expense? Lesser time with my adorable and precocious daughter? Superficial 'friendships'? A strained marriage? Stretched finances? No, I'll pass.

Now don't think I've lost my drive, my zest for excellence, my exuberance, my sense of adventure, my excitement for the unknown. I didn't settle. I just decided to start, oh around two to three years ago, to re-calibrate my life, to find out what truly mattered to me.

I got sick late last year. I had a wound that got badly infected which required surgery. I had to stay in the hospital for a week. I had to be medicated with really strong antibiotics. Then, last December, while on vacation in beautiful Boracay, I broke my wrist. I had to wear a wrist splint. It was uncomfortable and extremely painful. Just putting on my undergarments required maximum effort. I had to ask The Husband for help, as if I were a toddler. I was miserable. But in the midst of all the bad stuff, I found out who my real friends were, and I discovered who truly cared. It hit me: life was really short and what a shame if I were to waste it on things and people that were fleeting and shallow.

My wants have indeed changed. My goals and priorities are different now.

I want more stamps on our passports.
I want a masters degree.
I want a career in the academe.
I want more time with my family - my husband, our daughter and her upcoming sibling, my parents, my brothers, my sister and our relatives.
I want more time with my friends.
I want to read more, laugh more, eat more, dream more.
I want to make our home more beautiful.
Heck, I even want to blog more.
Also, don't laugh.
I want to make a difference.

I also want more ice cream. Ice cream rights a lot of wrongs, y'know.

Happy Friday, loves.

photo from weheartit.com

Sugar and Spice?

My daughter, Kaelana, is growing taller, brighter and more beautiful every day. Family, friends and even random strangers comment about how well-behaved she is, how socially adaptable, how friendly, how mature for her age, how NOT annoying (you know how some kids are; they push the cute envelope too far for far too long but hey, I'm not here to judge), how emotionally sensitive and how long and thick her eye lashes are. I smile proudly but deep inside, I still worry if we're raising her right, and if our parenting skills are good enough. The pretty eyes are genetic so that's something I just thank Mother Nature for.

Because of how polite, amiable and sunny Kaelana is, I also get comments from people how lucky I am to be raising a daughter and not a son. They say boys are a handful - that girls are generally easier to handle and  that Cyrus and I do not have to worry too much because Kaelana is pretty much the poster child for well-adjusted kids.

I beg to differ. Raising a daughter is not a walk in the park. And you know what, I worry most about her teenage years. The words rebellion, angst, heartbreak, body image and peer pressure come to mind. I went through the same things with my own mother. They say things have a way of coming back to haunt you, but for my daughter, I hope, with prayers and guidance, she won't have to go through very painful, life-altering (in a negative way) circumstances.

I pray fervently that Kaelana will not be a victim to nor a perpetrator of what I call "girl crimes": exclusion, vile gossip, and unnecessary drama (yes, I believe some drama is necessary). I will teach her to avoid toxic people and to walk away from situations that will make her compromise her values. I will teach her to say no. Most of all, I will teach her that what's most important is that she is happy with herself and her decisions. I hope she will  remember that I will always be there for her.